Catching River - by Dad

I know what the world's idea of manliness is. 

This story may not fit the narrative 

Nevertheless it's my favorite story I've ever participated in.

It was a Friday morning.

My wife woke me and told me "we're having a baby today".

Thoughts rushed through my head, a rush of adrenaline hit me and my mission was to make everything as smooth for my wife as possible.

First, I needed a shower. 

That was done in relatively record time and then my wife needed her shower.

We both wanted to make sure we looked "ok" because there were going to be tons of pictures :-) 

And there are.

While Vivian was in the shower I realized the birth tub was cold!!! 

NOOOOOOOO!!! 

boiling water and many pots to get the tub to at least body temperature.

Since the birth tub was situated in our bathroom it was easy to bail buckets of water out and refill with hot water.

Crises somewhat averted.

Then all these wonderful women showed up at our house.

Taking care of the home and the already been born children.

It was spectacular.

I could then focus totally on what my wife needed.

The thing is that I kinda just go on stand by until things get going good.

I leave her be so she can concentrate on her body and what it's saying. 

I monitored the birth tub water temperature.

Walked around

Made a million trips up and down the stairs. 

I'd check on her and let her know that I noticed she was still pregnant.

I finally was band from saying that ever again.

I heeded :-)

In the old testament there is a phrase used that captures what I mean.

So if this was written in third person it would go like this 

"His wife told him he was no longer allowed to say you're still pregnant. And Paul hearkened unto his wife"

I try to keep our moods light without stepping over the line.

I think it's important to make my wife smile.

Especially when she's carrying such a burden as birthing our son.

So finally I see in my wife's face the thing I've been looking for all morning.  Her look of "ok it's getting intense.

She ushers herself to the water. 

I stay out side for a while.

Monitoring the temperature 

And monitoring how far along Vivian is.

I decide it's time for me to change into my swimming trunks.

I walk back into the bathroom and my lovely wife says "you should change and get ready"

I just looked at her beautiful eyes.

I got in.

My role now is coach.

Encouraging her

Telling her she's got this

Telling her we're going to see our son soon

Telling her to lean on me

Telling her to breathe

Telling her she's beautiful

It's all true and it all works

All at the same time our hearts bond even closer.  I feel her needs and I try to give her my strength.

It's the most intimate thing

I can tell she has started pushing

I can also tell things were not happening fast enough for her.

She told me she wanted out of the water and to go to the bed.

I reminded her that she probably didn't want that but I got out of the tub to help her to the bed anyway 

As I was standing there dripping wet she looks up and says "maybe not" as she goes into another push.

I get back in

After a few more attempts she decides she wants the birth stool.

Now this throws a big kink in what I pictured would be a water birth similar to the way it was with Asa.

I wasn't prepared for catching a baby on dry land.

I had to shake myself and regain my focus. I had to remind myself that this is her moment.

This is where she shines through. 

So,  after she is positioned on the birth stool.  I position myself like I'm a catcher at a major league baseball game.

I'm in a squatting position 

My imaginary hat is on backwards and I'm ready for whatever is thrown. Curve, fast ball, slider,  knuckle ball WHAT EVER I was ready.

I seen him start to crown.

I'm telling my wife she's ALMOST DONE 

ALMOST THERE 

KEEP GOING HONEY

She's quietly says "I know" 

Now is not the time for a philosophical discussion about I know you know I know you know.

Then it seems the very next thing is she squirted me.

I didn't know her water hadn't broken yet. 

I wasn't ready for it.

I flinched and made sure my mouth wasn't open.

I really didn't know there was that much water. I'm soaked. I look to make sure the hose was shut off and I see my son's little beautiful head.  A bomb could have went off and it wouldn't have shook my focus

I told Vivian his head is out!!!! 

She again says she knows.

Now I have my hands gentle cradling his head waiting for the rest of his body.

She gives another shove and out he comes. 

He's big

He's heavy 

He's super slick slimy and sloppy. 

I catch him and he's yelling his appearance at me in the most wonderful little voice.

I get him head up and try to lift him up to momma.  It's like trying to hold onto a carp.

Momma reaches down for him and I butt lift him up.

What a beautiful thing.

By far the greatest thing I've ever participated in.

Our son was where he belonged 

On my wife's chest

Things from here get a little fuzzy for me.

My focus point was over 

My next task is to introduce the family and friends

Vivian goes to the bed holding our brand new son.

I'll never ever forget it 

Women fall in love with their babies while they are still in the womb.

Mom's get to know their children's habits and traits way before Dad does.

But I fell in love with him as soon as I seen him 

I was the first to hold him this side of the womb.

I will never ever forget it.

The Birth Village

Early Friday morning, before the first rays of sunlight spilled through the windows, I lay awake in my bed, meditating and praying—surrendering my day—when that first primal, familiar rolling wave surged through my 40+5 week pregnant body.  I joyfully welcomed it and its coming strength along with the rising sun. 

I connected with my midwife (whom after 3 births together is affectionately called Grandma by my children).  Then, I let my village know the day had finally arrived.   

I purposed myself on the task at hand and minded labor and before long our home was intoxicated delightful sounds and smells in anticipation of new life.

The sounds of four excited children ready to welcome their newest sibling radiated through every wall of the home, sounds of village voices tending to those precious souls, sounds of kitchen toiling and home tending bubbled over like fountains of joy.

Aromas of soups and breads being meddled together from whatever provisions were found in the kitchen began to filter through the home and smells of herbs being prepared for life-giving healing excited my spirit.

Just before noon, a break from the bustling about, a warm cup of coffee, and a walk in the sunshine was shared over words of love and encouragement.

And when River arrived, a little after 2pm, we were ushered into bed, greeted with juice and fresh fruit.  Yard flowers in mason jars adorned tables and stands.  And the village voices began to bustle about once more—minding the end of my labor, starting laundry, and feeding my family. 

As the evening came they each returned to their own homes and families and my heart was full—full with love for new life, and full with thanks for the village. 

We Did Christmas Different This Year

We Did Christmas Different

As the 2013 Christmas season approached my heart began to break for the traditional way we celebrated it.  I deeply felt that it did not truly glorify our Christ Savior.  I dug deep, prayed hard, and even considered not celebrating traditional Christmas at all.  But every time I imagined the Glory of the Lord shining over the Shepherds, announcing Christ’s birth, my eyes filled with joyful tears and plead to celebrate His birth.

 

The Shepherds and the Angels

Luke 2:8-20

⁸ There were some shepherds in that part of the country who were spending the night in the fields, taking care of their flocks. ⁹ An angel of the Lord appeared to them, and the glory of the Lord shone over them. They were terribly afraid, ¹⁰ but the angel said to them, “Don't be afraid! I am here with good news for you, which will bring great joy to all the people.¹¹ This very day in David's town your Savior was born—Christ the Lord! ¹² And this is what will prove it to you: you will find a baby wrapped in cloths and lying in a manger.”

¹³ Suddenly a great army of heaven's angels appeared with the angel, singing praises to God:

¹⁴ “Glory to God in the highest heaven,
    and peace on earth to those with whom he is pleased!”

¹⁵ When the angels went away from them back into heaven, the shepherds said to one another, “Let's go to Bethlehem and see this thing that has happened, which the Lord has told us.”

¹⁶ So they hurried off and found Mary and Joseph and saw the baby lying in the manger. ¹⁷ When the shepherds saw him, they told them what the angel had said about the child. ¹⁸ All who heard it were amazed at what the shepherds said. ¹⁹ Mary remembered all these things and thought deeply about them.²⁰ The shepherds went back, singing praises to God for all they had heard and seen; it had been just as the angel had told them.

Through prayers and The Word the idea of celebrating a more biblical perspective was born. 

Matthew 2:11

¹¹And when they were come into the house, they saw the young child with Mary his mother, and fell down, and worshipped him: and when they had opened their treasures, they presented unto him gifts; gold, and frankincense, and myrrh.

 

Gold represents kingship.  Jesus is a King. (Value)

Frankincense represents Jesus as our high priest.  (Spiritual)

Myrrh represents the prefiguring of Jesus crucifixion—used for embalming.  (Need)

We chose to give each of our children three gifts representing: value, spiritual, and need. 

Carrie - 13 years old  

Loves music  

Has an eye for photography

* Spiritual gift - supplies to design and create a scrapbook to give away as a gift.

* Value - 1967 phonograph (in working order)

* Need - records 

Galatians 5:13

13 You, my brothers and sisters, were called to be free. But do not use your freedom to indulge the flesh[a]; rather, serve one another humbly in love.

Not very many 13 year olds have a record player that actually WORKS! 

Hannah - 12 years old

Loves the animal kingdom

Is a bookworm

* Spiritual gift - supply of donations for the local animal shelter (along with donation of her time)

* Value - a reading nook complete with a papasan chair she doesn't have to share

* Need - MORE BOOKS 

Romans 12:4-6 

4 For just as each of us has one body with many members, and these members do not all have the same function, 5 so in Christ we, though many, form one body, and each member belongs to all the others. 6 We have different gifts, according to the grace given to each of us. If your gift is prophesying,then prophesy in accordance with your[a] faith;

 Enjoy your book nook! No more mama fussing at you to get off the couch that way.  It's all yours!

Hallie - 9 years old

A beautiful keeper of the home

Loves to get lost in imagination

* Spiritual gift - All the necessary supplies to host a tea party of her very own

* Value - antique vanity (that she can refinish anyway she'd like)

* Need - princess clothes

Psalms 139:14

I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made;

    your works are wonderful,

    I know that full well.

You are a daughter of the King of Kings--a princess! 

Lane - 6 years old

A boy child, growing into a man

Loves to work

* Spiritual gift - A handmade by Dad workbench

* Value - Dragon Castle Form 

* Need - Tools

Ecclesiastes 9:10a

Whatever your hand finds to do, do it with all your strength

Never lose your imagination! 

Although deep down I knew that non-traditional way we were choosing to celebrate Christmas was in line with my convictions, I couldn't help but worry that the kids would feel a little let down.  But, I had nothing to worry about.  It was the best Christmas ever.  

May you all be richly blessed!  Merry Christmas

And He has on His robe and on His thigh a name written:

KING OF KINGS AND LORD OF LORDS.

Revelation 19:16

“Once you are Real you can't be ugly, except to people who don't understand”

“Once you are Real you can't be ugly, except to people who don't understand”

Many of us have a favorite childhood book; one that was read to us by a parent, a grandparent, or librarian.  That book kind of sticks with you—forever.  When you think of it you kind of soften for a minute: relax your shoulders, inhale deeply, smell the pages, taste that memory. 

My favorite book as a child was “The Velveteen Rabbit” by Margery Williams.  Just the sound of it makes me float around on a cloud with a smile on my face.  My mom read it to me, often.  And one year when I was seven years old, I received a real Velveteen Rabbit for Christmas; it was even in my stocking! It had pink satin ears, a pink velvety nose, and a one piece bunch bottom!  He was everything I could have imagined and the only thing I can even remember about Christmas that year.  I was instantly in love and I imagined he was real.  I loved that bunny so much that his ears eventually lost their pink satin and turned to white.  I wore holes in his stitching from all the holding and my mom spent many evenings sewing him up.  And although I don’t have much from my childhood, he is still around. 

A few years ago I gave him to my daughter.  She loved for me to read “The Velveteen Rabbit” to her just as much as I had loved it when I was a little girl.  He now has a few more hand sewn stitches than before and he even has a couple of patches that I sewed on one early Christmas morning after a mischievous puppy got to him.  

Our Velveteen Rabbit sits in our schoolroom now and he reminds me that Real happens over time and not all at once and that sometimes Real hurts.  But Real is always worth the late night stitches and hand sewn patches.

A Tangled Mess

A Tangled Mess

It’s so fun to watch babies learn, isn’t it?  Our little one is at the stage where he is almost crawling but not quite.  He babbles all these adorable sounds.  He sits and digs through his small bucket of toys (always choosing the free, used butter lid over the expensive learning toys), he opens and closes drawers over and over again, he finds his fingers and toes and intrinsically plays with them—it’s just fascinating! Every once in a while he gets stuck, ya know, in a half crawl half sit position, or sometimes he gets himself in a little situation where he is bound to get mildly hurt.  It takes everything I have not to jump up and save him from that board book that he is about to pull onto himself, or from closing that drawer on his tiny fingers, or immediately untangle his tangled legs—but I know if I do he won’t understand the cause and effect r develop the gross motor skills to untangle his own legs.  I know it is for his own good that I stand back and allow him to grow. 

Well today I was sitting at the table, eating this delicious apple crumb desert that my oldest daughter made (it is not a good thing to have a daughter that loves to make delicious deserts and leave them lying around), anyway there I was sitting, savoring this yummy apple crumb and the baby sweetly played under the table at my feet.  Then he got his legs all tangle up in the leg of the chair.  For a long, very long, time he tried to get himself unstuck.  It was painful to watch!  I wanted to just gently move the chair, only by a few inches—that’s all it needed, to help him get out of that sticky mess he got himself in.  But I knew better.  I knew this was important for him. 

I pondered this with every bite of my yummy sweet and then I began thinking about God’s love for us, we are his children, and how painful it must be for God to watch us get ourselves all tangled up in messes.  Often times, we get ourselves deep into it too! He must want to swoop down and save us from ourselves! But just like we, as parents, see the big picture—our children must learn to grow and growth makes them stronger, God must feel this way about us also. 

After a bit of time I got up and gently moved that chair back, kissed my baby on the head, and whispered, “I love you, child.”

Galatians 3:26 - For ye are all the children of God by faith in Christ Jesus.

Seasons of Rest

Our family recently moved into a season of rest. For a season we decided not to sign up for any sports or extra curricular activities outside of church. We had a few reasons for doing this. The baby probably encouraged this season of rest; had it not have been for his less than flexible personality we might not have moved into this quiet time. But typically with three activity aged kids we would be all over the town, county, and state this time of year and the burdens were already so heavy. So we decided that a time of rest was important and probably best for a short period of time.

I was very worried about it though. Worried that we'd be bored! Being busy is an addictive lifestyle! I was worried that the kids would fuss with each other. For goodness sake, we already home school and spend more time together than most! I was worried about a lack of sense of community since we would be abstaining from many opportunities to interact with our community. And I was worried about other silly things here and there.

But as it turns out--all that worry was for not. And I'm glad we have had this time as a family!

It has been extra special. My children haven't fussed more, in fact, the opposite. They have used this time to press into the heart of The Lord and build relationships with each other and even forged new relationships in the community! (Crazy how God makes that happen). Oh and we haven't been bored! We've been blessed!

If this is something you feel God might be asking you to do, here's a little encouragement! ;)

What’s Working and What’s Not—From Sun Up to Sun Down

What’s Working and What’s Not—From Sun Up to Sun Down

The last two years have been a whirlwind for me and I’ve experienced things as a stay at home mom that I never thought I would; for example it’s HARD—REALLY, REALLY, REALLY (not enough reallies) HARD!  I’ve gleaned from some very beautiful Titus women and put together my list of what’s working.  NOTHING IS ORIGINAL! Really—hijacked it all from The Greats!

1.       Dress for your day BEFORE you leave your bedroom.  EVERY MORNING.  And I mean from bra to shoes!

Dress to be prepared to run out of the door any minute or welcome an unexpected visitor.  I’ve also noticed my children take me more seriously if I’m dressed for my day.  And, if I’m honest, I take myself more serious too.  Not business nice, but not yoga pants and dew rag. (No condemnations here; there have been lots of those days and plenty still to come.)  But generally speaking this is a big help.

2.       Immediately start your first load of laundry!  This means before you even have your first cup of coffee.

 Oh my, I can hear ya now!  I know, I know!  But for me, it’s been a life saver!  One of The Greats has a love affair with her washer and dryer and swears that the sound of these babies purring sets her day.  I’m not quite that in love—but this does make a huge difference in the tone of your morning!  And it’s all about momentum.  An object in motion stays in motion!

3.       Stay in The Word—even if only by small passages or verses!

Back in the day I woke up in the 5 o’clock hour and read my Bible for 45 minutes before I even got dressed (while sipping coffee—oh nostalgia).  But this is just not reasonable during this season of my life.  And Jesus knows we stay at home mamas are weary—especially us with the smaller ones that are still waking up for those nighttime nursings.  Sleep is precious!  Let me say that again—SLEEP IS PRECIOUS! So, how do we keep our swords sharp against the evil one’s schemes?  Meditate on smaller passages or verses.  Write the verses that the spirit sends you in places you are the most, like the laundry room, your school room, your hands (done this), the bathroom mirror etc. 

4.       Meal Plan

Plan meals and stick to it (best you can).  Based on our family’s budget I can shop for two week’s worth of food.  I sit down, make a list of enough meals for two weeks, make a list for all the ingredients we need, and shop for them.  There may be better methods, but this works for us so I’m sharing.  I keep a list of the MEAL OPTIONS taped to the outside of the pantry door.  It is simply a list of meals that we have the ability to make because all of the ingredients are readily available.  So if I decide that tomorrow is a great taco night I set out hamburger meat to thaw.  By not saying M-Tacos, Tues-Beans it gives me flexibility to roll with the day’s punches!

5.       Start Your School Day with Family Devotion

Even if it is a quick one—it puts you all in the word together and starts your day as a family united.  (This is also where you can get more Chunk Word J)

6.       Chores for Kids

We call these ZC’s and PC’s for Zone Checks and Personal Checks.  We have a few times a day that everyone does a PC and makes sure their personal disasters are tidied up and then each of the kids have Zones that they are in charge of.  It helps.  When you’ve got lots of folks in the same quarters all day long it takes work to keep it in check.  Personally I don’t function in clutter—I mean total shut down, can’t do anything; and that’s no good for anyone when the mama is non-functioning. 

7.       Shower at Night

Otherwise you might not get one!  I enjoy, and prefer, to start a day with a shower but that’s not happening these days.  So in order to not be a total skank I must shower at night when my husband is home.  But, coming to bed clean has its advantages—just saying!

8.       Don’t Go to Bed with a Dirty Front of the House

This might be the hardest one because by this time of day you are tired.  I mean leg-numb tired.  So you could always ask your husband for help on this one.  Mine is awesome and most of the time makes sure the kitchen is clean after dinner.  Thank you Lord, because cooking and cleaning 3 times a day, 7 days a week is heavy.  At any rate, it helps tidy up your living areas before bed.  I call our living area the “Front of our Home” because it’s in the front, haha.  And every night (well almost every because, well you get it) but most nights I make sure the front of our home is picked up because tomorrow morning when I walk into the front of our home it sucks to be greeted by a pile of toddler toys and dishes in the sink.  On the contrary it is awesome to walk into your kitchen greeted by a shiny sink!

This is what is currently working for our family.  But the major life lesson I’ve learned since my journey from bread winner to bread maker began is that NOTHING STAYS THE SAME and it’s ALWAYS CHANGING!