If I had to choose it all over again, I would. If I could change absolutely nothing—not one
tiny detail, I’d still choose you. I
would choose Every. Single. Nanosecond. over and over again.
I would choose one heart breaking negative pregnancy test
after another. I would choose endless
days of my most uncomfortable pregnancy, over and over. I would choose anxiety ridden days of postpartum struggles. I would choose being
held hostage for months upon months because you absolutely hated the car seat. I would choose staring bewilderedly at a
positive pregnancy test, thinking I’ll never survive, while you sat, ten months
old, screaming at my feet. I would
choose exhausting days of pregnancy chasing you—the busiest and most demanding
toddler.
If I had to choose it all over again, I would. If I could change absolutely nothing…I’d
still choose you. If I had to choose the
very last day, knowing exactly what was going to happen. If I didn’t have the power, if I couldn’t
change a single thing, I’d still choose you.
If I had to choose that moment, THE moment, the sound of
terror in your father’s voice screaming out to me. I would.
If I had to chose falling to my knees and pleading with God, over and
over again…I would. If I had to hold
your broken vessel while the angels carried you away…Every time, I would. Every single time. I’d choose you.
I’d choose all the pain…over and over and over again. Just for more of you.
