Some days are harder than others and some weeks are harder
than the week before. I don’t know what
the difference between this week and last week is, but this week has been long
and hard. I’ve accomplished very little
around my home—evidence is all the clean laundry on the kitchen table. I’ve been incredibly tired this week (like
first trimester tired). Every time I get
this tired I always wonder if I’m struggling with a mild depression. I mean I could sleep 18 hours a day…and not
forced sleep…the kind of sleep where you lay your head down and pass out for
hours. In all my previous pregnancies I
was working full-time and often held a second part-time job. If I was tired, I didn’t have time for
it. I’ve never had the level of support
I do with this pregnancy. It’s almost as
if I am reducing my personal standards—Hahaha.
(Overwhelmed by gratitude for my
husband when I have weeks like this)
I have a friend stopping by this afternoon. Uhm, she will be my first official visitor as
a stay at home mom! I’ve been home for
three months. That’s kind of crazy to
realize. I’m tempted to come up with a
good excuse like, my house is just too messy for you to come over, then again I
remind myself that I need to break out of my shell that I’ve hidden in lately
and the company might do my spirit good.
Okay, not might, probably will!
I fixed my hair for the first time this week and also put on
makeup—full makeup! And, I put on smelly good lotion! I’m making a personal goal
to not eat any of the kid’s candy and put some much needed healthy food in my
body today! (Disclaimer—this is a today
only goal—I might eat candy tomorrow)
Here are a few of my confessions from this week and then how
I plan on making next week better!
My stay at home mom confessions of this week:
1)
I have not fixed my hair until today
2)
I haven’t shaved my legs all week—until today
3)
My children ate chicken nuggets for dinner last
night (and that’s all)
4)
I’ve ate a ton of their super yummy chocolate
candy
5)
I haven’t eaten near enough healthy food for me
and the baby this week (I did have a cucumber yesterday if that counts)
6)
I’ve ignored my mother’s calls twice
7)
I’ve slept in past 9 twice
8)
Clean laundry is piled on my kitchen table
9)
I’ve done almost zero house work—only enough to
get by
10)
Lane has stayed in pajamas well past noon at
least three times this week
11)
The couch has a worn in spot from my behind
Next week I am going to work on something pretty heavy. I’m going to sit down and really try and
understand and outline reasonable expectations and goals for myself. One of my struggles is that I honestly just
don’t know what to expect of myself as a SAHM.
If I can reasonably identify that, I think I can start to feel some much
needed value about what I’m doing.
*I say reasonable b/c I am typically a
perfectionist and hold myself to impossible standards
*Value—yes, I know being a SAHM is so
incredibly valuable, I just haven’t learned how to make myself feel valuable at
it (insecurity identified) J
If you’re
wondering why I haven’t done that yet, I can’t answer you! It’s a good question!
Blessings to
all and have a wonderful weekend!
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