Routine: If not by choice, by force!

 

When I met and fell in love with Paul, he was the full-time care giver for his aging mother.  She’s lived with him since his father passed away in 2007.  While she can do general hygiene things for herself and functions well under strong boundaries, she requires a decent amount of supervision and care.  Naturally, it wasn’t a question if she was going to live with us when we got married.  When we married, we moved into a home that has a guest house or mother-in-law cottage attached to the main house by way of covered porch.  It’s the perfect arrangement.  We have our privacy, she has hers, we can check on her frequently, she can get to us quickly, and we can attend to her daily routines!  Yes, I said routine!

Ms. Paula has some strange quirks.  You could say she’s different.  Honestly, sometimes I ask Paul how on earth he ever survived infancy or childhood.  She lives by this strict routine that even if it hurt her, she’d stick to it.  She doesn’t get out of bed until “Five after eight”, she says—although she lays there awake until that exact moment to get out of bed.  She only takes baths—not showers—and those are “Bath days”.  She doesn’t eat the “Green stuff” I make in her food (otherwise known as vegetables).  She only drinks diet Pepsi—in fact, my children say, “Ms. Paula is allergic to water, and milk, and juice, and she’s only not allergic to Pepsi.”  She requires that her laundry be done on Thursdays and can only be done on Thursdays—no exceptions.  

As the last few months of being home have progressed, I’ve learned to enjoy Ms. Paula’s routine.  I’ve yet to really figure one out of my own—but I know I can’t deviate from hers.  I never make plans for Thursday mornings because I know I have her laundry to do.  I honestly don’t want to face the consequences of what would happen if I didn’t get it done.  Don’t get me wrong—she’s a very, very kind woman, but she requires routine to function and without it she’s very anxious.  And for goodness sake, the lady is nearly 70—I’m not going to try and change her now—besides its impossible!  

It’s a joy to help care for her and I am thankful for the small amount of routine she brings to my life while I try to figure this all out!

Off to do some laundry!